Humans as a race have the pleasant nature of being able to easily identify the inherently good qualities of others, and many psychologists have found that this characteristic quality of people begins to develop from a very early age. You know very well which of your friends has great fashion sense, who has a good sense of humour, who is good in maths, etc. You are aware of the positive qualities of the people around you. Unfortunately when it comes to ourselves, many of us fail miserably at identifying those same positive qualities that we can easily spot in others, and this causes many people to have low self-esteem. Women like strong, bold men who take charge, not meek boys who are wishy washy about what they want in life. If you were asked by a woman “What are your three best qualities or characteristics?” would you be able to present her with an accurate, honest answer?....or would you be bashful and deflect her question with a corny joke? Don’t feel bad if you would try to cop out, because most guys would react in a similar manner because most guys have a tough time believing that there is something extraordinary about themselves.

This type of negative attitude forces most guys to convince themselves every time that they see that woman  they are interested, that they are “not good enough” for her because “she’s out of my league”. We’ll I’m here to tell you that if you present yourself properly, no girl is out of your league. Most guys falsely assume that a gorgeous, intelligent woman requires some special things that they don’t possess or can’t hope to possess, and that approaching would lead to humiliation and certain failure. Wrong!

A sexy car, six packs abs and a big bank account will most definitely give you a tactical advantage, but only with the gold digger types. These types of shallow women are not worth your time anyway because they will just sap you of your resources and not offer up anything in return, and when they money runs out...they are going to disappear quicker than your funds during your college days. From a purely psychological and biological standpoint what is it that all women seek out in a male partner? They seek out a mate that can father them children, and then stick around to raise the offspring. A man provides comfort and security. You can provide that just as well as that cocky kid in university with the flashy car, or your boss at work who is always upgrading to an even more expensive cell phone.

The first step to valuing yourself is to identify the positives qualities that you possess. You need to make what is known in the world of psychology as the “self-inventory”. Grab a pen and a piece of paper, and generate a list of your five greatest qualities, start with the one that you value the most. Asides from yourself, nobody is going to see this inventory so be as truthful as possible (and yes you need to actually write this down to truly benefit from this exercise). Are you an honest person? Good with money? Humerous? Do you stay in great shape?

The next step is to write the ten things that you’ve done in the past year that you feel are positive. These “positive things” can be anything major or minor, but that you feel are of impact. Now make a list of your favourites, your personal favourites. These personal favourites define your personality. They are what make you interested in the world that surrounds you. Favourites are extremely important when interacting with women, because a guy who can’t decide on his own favourites is one who has no idea what he wants in life, and this is a really big turnoff for women. Women appreciate a man that is passionate about life, and holds opinions and is ready to defend them (even if they are in contrast to her own). Your list of favourites will look something like this:

Bevarage

As an example imagine that you are chatting with a girl and the topic of music arises and she asks you what you listen to, a beta male would say “ I don’t know----I like all types”. Really? All types...bull! nobody who is really into music gives that sort of response. If a guy supplies an answer like this lame one he is simply trying to cover his bases and not give her an answer that he thinks will backfire. Newsflash, this makes you less appealing. All women appreciate music on some level, and most certainly you do also, but your perspective might be limited because of limited exposure to the various genres. The next time you are at the mall, step into the local record shop and take the time to browse through the new music releases. Ask the store clerk if you need some help, and listen to some new CDs at the listening station. You might not like everything you hear, but at least you are now more aware of what’s out there and being listened to by different types of people. Just as an example you may not be the biggest fan of rap music, but you should at least have a basic idea of who is the top-selling rap artist. The next time that you visit a bookstore take some extra time to check out the latest bestsellers, so if in the future you are asked “What book are you reading now?” you have some idea of what’s popular right now...you don’t want to appear illiterate by not responding to that question. After visiting the bookstore enough times and checking out the bestsellers eventually you will find a book that interests you, and reading it will expand your horizons. So you can clearly see that the first step in letting others appreciate you is to appreciate yourself, and take the time to make a self inventory. This will also lead you to learn more about yourself, and provide you with some basic tools to carry out an engaging conversation with that beautiful stranger.

One of the most important factors in taking control of your life is taking control of your image. If you dress well you will build and regain confidence. For excellent tips on this topic visit the Metropolitan.