The Girl Next Door, Why You Have The Hots For Her

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You may get to learn a lot about somebody by spending hours “talking” to them in a chat room, but have you ever observed that conversations that you hold face to face are always far more rewarding? Doesn’t it feel much better to hold her hand, see her smile, and listen to her beautiful voice? Of course you have made these observations! This is because proximity is very important when it comes to developing a relationship with someone. Numerous studies have found that we tend to form intimate relationships with those who are near us....just look at how many of your friends have found their long term lover at school or work!


There is a direct correlation between interpersonal attraction and physical proximity. A very famous study where strangers were randomly assigned seats in a classroom found that people are more likely to become friends with those seated next to them, as opposed to those sitting across from them, even if the classroom was very small. This study was then replicated on a large scale at a dorm of 270 students in MIT where students were asked to list their closest companions. Here are the findings from that study:


1 door away 41% of the time


2 doors away 22%


3 doors away 16%


4 doors away 10%



The college dormitory was quite small with only 88 feet separating those living four doors apart, yet most people were closest to those living next door. Can we draw any conclusions from this study, or others similar to it? Yes! Proximity is rewarding, and distance is costly. Proximity increases the probability that two people will cross paths. Studies have found that familiarity through repeated contact increases attraction. So the more often that your flame is exposed to your presence during the initial stages of the relationship, the greater her interest in you will be, hint, hint.  
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